| 1 | Mrs. Thatcher Bass Player With The Sex Pistols |
| 2 | Chinese Bears |
| 3 | Mmmn, That's A Nice Gift Shop |
| 4 | Hospital Haircut |
| 5 | Free Ice Cream (For Elephants) |
| 6 | Eyesore Lemmy Kissing Santa Vlaus |
| 7 | Gordon Jackson The Greatest Living Englander |
| 8 | Temporarily Blinded Horse |
| 9 | Think: Giant Balls |
| 10 | Aunty Mary Farted In The Samovar |
| 11 | Get Kylie Minogue Off Me You Big Shameless Hussy |
| 12 | In Praise Of My Hairy Back |
| 13 | The Guns Of Lena Zavaroni |
| 14 | Wonky Tortoise |
| 15 | Shadow On My Piss Slit |