| 1 | You're So Fat Your Epitaph Should Read "Rest In Pizza" |
| 2 | That Coffin Doesn't Make You Look Fat... You Do |
| 3 | Fat Bitches Give The Best Head Because They're Always Hungry, But When They're Dead At Least They Don't Bite |
| 4 | How Do You Fuck A Fat Corpse? The Same Way As You Do A Live One; Jack Off & Throw It At Her |
| 5 | We Tried To Bury You In A Coffin But You Wouldn't Fit |
| 6 | That Spare Tire Of Yours Is The Reason Why We Had A Closed-Casket Viewing |
| 7 | On Your Way To The Autopsy Slab You Killed The Six Orderlies Carrying You |
| 8 | In The Morgue We Thought You Were A Bald Fat Bitch Until We Lifted Back The Rolls |
| 9 | I Like Thickies |
| 10 | That Extra Donut Is What Sent You To An Early Grave |
| 11 | That Xxxxxl Suit We Buried You In Was Too Small |
| 12 | You Weighed 2 Tons When You Died; Gee... I Wonder What Killed You..?! |
| 13 | Too Fat, Too Bald, Too Dead |
| 14 | Emblamed With Chocolate Pudding |
| 15 | When They Weighed Your Corpse At The Morgue The Scale Said "To Be Continued.." |
| 16 | You're The Only One Whose Hearse Had To Have A Sign That Read "Wide Load" |
| 17 | Trapped In Her Jelly Rolls |
| 18 | You Look Like Jabba The Hut. A Dead Jabba The Hut. |